


This thing that builds our dreams

by betsib



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, not really that explicit but rated E just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 01:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1246981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betsib/pseuds/betsib
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Hurt/comfort after Tartarus + Nico shadowtravels into Percy’s cabin and accidentally catches him masturbating. Submission for the Percico Challenge on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This thing that builds our dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Title: This thing that builds our dreams
> 
> Username: [betsib](http://betsib.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompt: 5. Hurt/comfort after Tartarus + 15. Nico shadowtravels into Percy’s cabin and accidentally catches him masturbating. 
> 
> Rating: NC-17
> 
> For [the Percico Challenge](http://percico.tumblr.com/)

Annabeth didn’t understand.

She should have been able to. She was there the whole time and went through the same things he did, but she was somehow able to leave it all behind and move on. Percy wasn’t.

During the war, he hadn’t had much time to think about it, hadn’t _given_ himself any time to think about it, but the night after Gaea was finally defeated, Percy had woken up screaming.

He had done the same almost every night since.

Annabeth had tried everything within her power to comfort him, and Percy was honestly thankful for it, but in the end there was nothing she could do. The nightmares inevitably returned every night, regardless of whether he was alone or not. While Annabeth slept peacefully beside him, Percy’s dreams took him back to Tartarus. A bit over a month after they returned to camp, Annabeth left for college, and Percy could see she was relieved to go. He didn’t hold it against her. If anything, he envied her.

“Dude, you’re starting to look like Nico,” Leo told him one morning before leaving to find Calypso, and Percy mentally smacked himself. If there was anyone that could help him with this, it was Nico di Angelo. He blamed the insomnia for not realizing it sooner, but to be fair he hadn’t seen the son of Hades since the victory feast, and even then only briefly. Nico was still avoiding him, for some reason.

When Percy returned to his cabin after breakfast, he tried calling Nico. When that failed, he called Hazel. If anyone could get in touch with Nico it was her.

“He’s visiting the underworld right now,” Hazel said when Percy explained what he wanted. “I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“When he does, could you tell him to come see me?” Percy said. “I need to talk to him about something.”

Hazel promised to do that, and Percy ended the call. He hoped Nico would come back soon.

 

As it turned out, Nico came back two days later, and he had the worst timing possible.

Percy had long since realized that sex helped him get at least some real sleep before the nightmares begun. It was the one thing Annabeth had been able to help him with, but in had put another strain on their relationship soon enough. Who’d want to be with a guy who mostly wanted sex to be able to sleep, and was still likely to wake up screaming a couple of hours afterwards? 

With Annabeth gone Percy had turned to masturbation. It wasn’t as effective, but it was still a relief. He was in the middle of touching himself, seconds away from coming, when a loud noise made him look up.

Nico was on the floor in his cabin, having apparently hit the wall after stumbling backwards over a pair of Percy’s shoes. His face was deeply red, and he looked terrified. Percy suspected he looked much the same.

“Gods, Nico, you could have _knocked_!” Percy exclaimed as he pulled his pants back up.

“I was planning to. My aim was off,” Nico said, getting up from the floor while pointedly not looking in Percy’s direction. “Hazel said you wanted to see me.”

“Right,” Percy said. “Listen, Nico...”

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Nico interrupted. “Sorry about this.”

With that he melted back into the shadows. Percy swore to himself. So much for that conversation. Then again, it would have been an awkward thing to talk about with his dick uncomfortably hard in his pants. At least Nico said he’d be back.

Sighing, Percy pulled his pants back down to finish, trying not to think about the fact that Nico had seen him masturbating, or the fact that Percy didn’t mind as much as he should have.

 

The following morning Percy walked over to the Hades cabin and knocked on the door. He wasn’t sure if Nico was in there, or if he’d left camp, but it was worth a try. Percy heard a rustle from inside and the door opened. Nico was standing in the doorway, looking tired. His face turned red the moment he saw Percy.

“Hey, sorry about last night,” Percy said. 

“Let’s never talk about it,” Nico said, averting his eyes.

“Can I come in?” Percy asked, and Nico wordlessly stepped aside, not looking at Percy as he entered the cabin. “It’s pretty dark in here.”

“I prefer it that way,” Nico said. “Why did you want to talk to me?”

“Do you still have nightmares about Tartarus?” Percy asked. Nico actually flinched at the question.

“Why do you care?” he said.

“Because I do as well. I’ve always had nightmares, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m afraid to go to sleep,” Percy said honestly. “I was wondering if it’s the same for you.”

“Yes,” Nico said quietly. “But I’m fine. I can handle it.”

“I can’t,” Percy admitted, and Nico looked up at him for the first time. “I was hoping you could help me.”

“How?” Nico asked. “And don’t you have Annabeth to help you? Where is she, anyway?”

“She’s in college,” Percy said. “And for some reason she’s fine. She managed to escape unscratched, maybe because she never saw the true face of Tartarus. Maybe she’s a stronger person than I am.”

“And you’re saying she just left you alone with your nightmares?” Nico asked, sounding angry.

Percy shook his head. “It’s not like that. She tried to help, but she couldn’t. She would have stayed if I had asked her to, but she’s better off where she is.”

“But you’re not,” Nico concluded, frowning. “How do you expect me to be able to help? I wasn’t there.”

“No, you went through alone,” Percy said. “Which is incredible. I couldn’t have made it without Annabeth, and neither one of us would have made it without you convincing Bob I was a friend. And I think one of the reasons Annabeth wasn’t able to help me was because she was there, so she couldn't pull me back from it.”

“I repeat: how do you expect me to help?” Nico said, slightly flustered by Percy’s praise. “I don’t know if you’d noticed, but I’m not holding up so well myself.”

“So maybe we could help each other,” Percy said. “Shared pain, and all that. We could, I don’t know, _talk_ about it?”

Nico hesitated. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“So we don’t. I don’t care,” Percy said, getting frustrated. “I just want be around someone who knows what it was like. Who _understands_. Please, Nico. I need you to help me.”

Nico looked like he was fighting a war inside his mind. Then at long last he sighed.

“Fine. I don’t know if I _can_ help, but I’ll try,” he said, sounding defeated. Percy smiled at him.

“Thanks, man.”

“So, um, what do you want to do?” Nico asked, playing with the rings on his hands like he was nervous.

“I’m thinking breakfast,” Percy said. “Come on, let’s go eat something.”

“We’ll be sitting on our own in the dining area anyway,” Nico muttered. “How will that help?”

“Actually I was thinking we should grab some food and head down to the beach,” Percy said. “You in?”

“It’s not allowed,” Nico frowned, and Percy laughed.

“Since when do you follow the camp rules anyway?” he said. Nico gave him a brief smile at that, before blushing and looking away again. Percy frowned. How long was it going to take before Nico could look him in the eyes again?

They settled down on the beach a little while later, breakfast in hand. Nico had only brought fruit, but Percy had collected some yogurt and bread as well. The other campers had given them long looks as they walked off with the food, but no one had interrupted them.

They sat in silence for a while, eating and looking out at the waves. Percy felt pretty at peace here.

“Have you tried sleeping underwater?” Nico asked out of the blue, and Percy suppressed a shiver at the thought.

“No. It wouldn’t help,” he said. “Don’t laugh, but I’ve...I’ve kinda got a fear of drowning.”

Nico frowned at him, like he expected Percy to be kidding. “You are a son of Poseidon,” he said. “You can’t drown.”

“I know. But I almost did, twice,” he said. “Once in the earth, and once in contaminated water. I haven’t been able to feel at peace underwater since.”

“Oh,” Nico said. “Sorry.”

Percy shrugged. “It’s no big deal,” he said. “So how do you deal with it? The nightmares, I mean.”

“I make sure I’m completely exhausted before attempting to sleep,” Nico said. “I’m not sure if that’s really _dealing_ with it, but it works.”

Percy nodded. “Have you tried masturbating?”

Nico immediately froze, his face turning red. “What the _hell?_ ”

“It works for me,” Percy said. “Well, it helps.”

“We’re _not_ talking about this.”

“Oh, come on, everyone does it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Percy said. “I was just wondering if it helps you as well.”

“No,” Nico said bitterly. “It makes it worse. And I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Percy said, then sighed, “Fine, I’ll drop it.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Have you tried having sex with anyone, then?”

“Okay, that’s it!” Nico spat, getting on his feet. “I’m leaving. Good luck with your problem.”

“Nico, wait! Sorry, I won’t mention it again,” Percy promised, grabbing Nico’s arm before he could leave. “Please don’t leave.”

“Then stop asking stupid questions!” Nico said. “And let go of me!”

“Right, sorry,” Percy said, releasing his grip and taking a step back. “So, um. Would you spar with me?”

“How does that help, exactly?”

“Well, if nothing else it will tire us out,” Percy said. “Or are you afraid you can’t take me?”

“I’m not Jason,” Nico pointed out. “So keep your childish challenges to yourself. However, you’re right about tiring us out. Just swords, though. No powers. We don't want to wreck the camp.”

“Agreed. We should head to the arena,” Percy said.

“For what, an audience?” Nico scoffed. 

“Just so people don’t think we’re actually trying to kill each other,” Percy smiled. “Come on, let’s go.”

As it turned out, they did manage to draw quite a large audience, though they kept a respectful distance away. Percy could see in Nico’s face that he didn’t like the attention, but it didn’t seem to hinder his performance. Percy honestly had trouble keeping up. He was taller and physically stronger than Nico, but the boy was faster and full of tricks. Every time Percy thought he was going to do something, he did the exact opposite, and when Percy learned to expect that he started doing the obvious thing again. Still, Percy was proud to say he managed to hold his own, and won one out of three duels. Nico won the first one though, which in his words was the only one that mattered in real life. Percy couldn’t really argue with that.

Percy dragged Nico with him to campfire that evening. The others gathering to sing songs looked surprised but happy to see him there. Nico might not think he belonged to Camp Half-Blood, but as far as most campers were concerned, the boy had saved their skin enough times to earn his place. Still, judging by the nervous glances sent his way people were still afraid of him.

Maybe that’s why the Stoll brothers singled Nico out.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Travis started, with a huge grin on his face. “It occurs to me that the Hades cabin silent as the grave. I think he should lead a song, don’t you?”

The other campers were already fired up from the last song (“We Will Rock You”), so the cheers following the suggestion were hardly that strange. Nico still looked baffled, and uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Percy told him reassuringly, then turned towards the Stoll twins. “Why Nico? You’ve never asked _me_ to lead a song.”

“Because we all know you sing like a seagull,” Connor said with a serious face, causing laughter around the fire. 

“And Nico never sings, so we want to know what he sounds like,” Travis added.

“The fact that I never sing should give you some indication as to what I sound like,” Nico said drily. He looked uncomfortable in the center of attention. “Besides, I don’t really know any songs.”

“Oh, everybody knows at least one song,” Travis said, waving dismissively. “And half of us sound like crows anyway. You’ll do fine.”

“Come on,” Connor urged, looking at Nico with a grin. Percy put a hand on Nico’s back, partly to reassure him and partly so he could grab him if the boy tried to shadow travel away.

“Fine,” Nico said finally, glaring at the Stoll brothers, who somehow managed to keep grinning despite being subjected to that look. Nico hesitated for a moment, then started to sing. Percy didn’t recognize the song. It wasn’t even in English, but it sounded old fashion and slow. Nico’s voice was a bit rough at first, clearly not used to singing, but as he got to the refrain he got more confident, and Percy was as stunned as the rest of the camp. Nico wasn’t a _fantastic_ singer or anything, but he was good. Better than most of the campers, including half of the Apollo cabin. Not to mention there was something inherently soothing about Nico’s voice, a promise of stillness and rest. Percy liked it.

Sadly, it turned out to be a pretty short song. As Nico fell silent, there was a pause when everyone collected themselves before they started applauding. Nico turned bright red, looking more embarrassed now than when he started singing.

“Well, that settles it!” Travis declared loudly. “We need to teach Nico some songs in English, people! Who wants to go next?”

The others started singing again. Nico sighed as he relaxed beside Percy, clearly relieved to not be at the center of attention anymore. Percy studied him, wondering if it would be strange to ask him to sing him to sleep. Yeah, that even sounded strange in his head, so it must be pretty weird. 

Nico noticed him looking, and raised his eyebrows, mouthing a flustered “What?” as the others shouted the refrain to “Call Me Maybe”, most of them missing the notes on purpose. Percy just shook his head as an answer, giving Nico a smile.

“Want to come hang with me for a while?” Percy asked Nico when they were getting ready to leave the campfire.

“I’m not sure I want to enter your cabin ever again,” Nico said, looking down at the ground, blushing furiously. Percy frowned. Was he never going to get over that?

“Can I come with you, then?” Percy asked instead. “Neither of us is going to sleep for a while anyway, right?”

Nico hesitated. “I guess,” he said. “Sure. I have nothing to do there, though. Except some books.”

Percy made a face. “I’ll go get my I-pod. Travis was right, you need someone to teach you some good songs.”

Nico waited for him outside the Percy’s cabin, and then lead them away to the Hades cabin. It was dark as a grave in there, though it turned surprisingly comfortable when Nico turned on the light. The walls and floor were painted black and the furniture was the same color, but there were plenty of fabrics, curtains, bedspreads and pillows, in warm red colors. There were only four beds, but even that was at least two too many, and a large comfortable-looking couch in one corner.

“This place seems homey. You should be here more,” Percy said, settling down on the couch and gesturing for Nico to join him. Nico muttered something incomprehensible as an answer, but after a moment’s hesitation he sat down beside Percy, looking uncomfortable. 

“So how does that thing work?” Nico asked, looking at the I-pod with some suspicion. Percy laughed.

“You plug these into your ears and press play,” Percy said, holding out the earbuds. “Though in this case I’ll take one of them.”

“Listening to music from one ear only seems impractical,” Nico said, imitating Percy as he put the bud into his ear, apparently making an effort to stay as far away from Percy as possible without the earbuds falling out. Percy frowned. He was beginning to feel unwanted, and it wasn’t a good feeling. At least Nico hadn’t thrown him out yet.

“I have loudspeakers in my cabin. We could have done this there,” Percy said, looking through his I-pod for something Nico would like.

“I’m not entirely unfamiliar with modern music, you know,” Nico said. “I have lived here for years already. I’ve just never taken the time to get invested in it.”

“Well, here’s your chance,” Percy said, settling for some old school rock and roll. “Highway to Hell” came up, and Percy thought that was strangely appropriate. “Recognize this?”

“I think I’ve heard it somewhere, yeah,” Nico nodded, listening for a while and then smiling slightly as the refrain started. “Very funny, Percy.”

“I try my best,” Percy shrugged. “And you’ve missed seventy years of good music. I have to start somewhere.”

They listened to a couple more songs in silence. Percy was choosing a variety of different genres, studying Nico’s reaction to them. The boy seemed pretty interested for the most part, but when Percy experimentally added last year's summer hit, which he only had on there because they had played it on the victory party and he associated it with good memories, Nico made a disgruntled face.

“That isn’t music,” Nico declared, sounding so much like a grumpy old man that Percy couldn’t help but laugh loudly.

“Sorry. I kinda hate that song too,” Percy grinned, switching to something a little more old fashioned. It ended up being Queen’s “Who Wants to Live Forever?”. “Think you could sing this one?”

“I’m not that good a singer,” Nico said uncomfortably. “I don’t think I like this one. Could you switch?”

“Sure,” Percy said, a little surprised. Nico hadn’t asked him to skip anything else so far, and Percy honestly liked that song. “I thought you were a decent singer, though. I liked your voice.”

Nico blushed deeply at that. “Thanks, I guess,” he muttered. 

“I mean it. It made me feel calm,” Percy said. “Kind of like a lullaby.”

“It was a lullaby,” Nico said, clearly embarrassed. “It was the only song I remembered the words to at that moment.”

“So you remember more now?” Percy said. “So if I asked you to sing for me, would you?”

“No,” Nico answered immediately. “I don’t like singing in public.”

“We’re not in public. It’s just you and me,” Percy said, leaning over towards him and giving him his best impression of a puppy. “Come on, please.”

That usually worked on Annabeth, but Nico seemed to panic, jumping to the other end of the couch, losing the ear bud in the process. His face was red again, and he didn’t look at Percy at all.

Percy frowned. “Does it really bother you so much?” he asked. “Nico, I know you’re not from this time, but people masturbated in the thirties too. It’s really not that strange.”

“That’s not...that’s not it!” Nico said, growing an even deeper shade of red as he dragged his legs up to his chest and put his arms around them, still not looking at Percy.

“What is it then?” Percy asked. “You’ve been uncomfortable with me since you came back. Well, before too, but not like this. Did I do something? Is it...is it about Bianca?”

“No!” Nico said, his voice suddenly stern. “I don’t blame you for that. Not anymore.”

He sounded honest, and that was a relief at least. Still, it left the other questions unanswered.

“Nico,” Percy started, but Nico interrupted him.

“I can’t do this,” Nico said, sounding angry as he buried his face in his hands. “Gods curse me, I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do what?” Percy asked, confused. “Nico, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t...I can’t be alone with you like this,” Nico said weakly, almost sobbing. “I’m sorry. I know how pathetic that sounds. Please leave.”

“Not until you explain this to me,” Percy said, bewildered and hurt. “I know there’s been a lot of bad blood between us over the years, but I’d really like to be friends with you. Why won’t you let me?”

He heard Nico take a shaky breath behind his hands. “Because that’s all you want to be,” Nico said, his voice barely audible. Percy froze, not sure he had heard that right. Did he really just say…?

“I’m so sorry. Please just go,” Nico whispered, still hiding his face behind his hands. Percy stared at him, his mind reeling with the revelation. It had never really occurred to him that Nico might think of him like that, and he had trouble wrapping his head around it. Part of him really wanted to do as Nico said and just leave, to get some time to think things through, but he couldn’t just leave the boy crying on the couch, either.

“I had no idea,” Percy said, his voice a bit strained. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Why did you never tell me?”

“What difference would it have made? What difference is it making _now_?” Nico asked angrily, finally looking up at him. Percy could see tears in his eyes. “I’ve _tried_ to get over it, but it doesn’t work. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, listen to me,” Percy said sternly, attempting to put a hand on Nico’s shoulder, but the boy shook him off immediately. Percy ignored it. “You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? I’m the one who’s sorry for not noticing.”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know,” Nico said, still sounding angry.

“Is it really that terrible?” Percy said, trying for a smile. “I mean, I know I’m not the handsomest guy in the world but I still wouldn’t think someone would be ashamed to like me.”

“Don’t you _dare_ turn this into a joke!” Nico said, glaring daggers at him. Percy bowed his head.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” he apologized. “And I’m sorry I’ve never looked at you that way.”

“I know. You don’t see anyone but Annabeth. You never have,” Nico sighed. He sounded resigned rather than bitter. Percy was a bit surprised by that, as well as by the words.

“How long have this been going on?” he asked.

“More or less since we first met,” Nico uncomfortably. “Please, can we just stop talking about this? I want to be alone right now.”

“If that’s what you want,” Percy said, getting up from the couch. “I’m glad you told me, Nico. Thank you.”

Nico didn’t answer, so Percy walked out of the cabin, feeling his forced calmness leave him the moment the closed the door behind him. Nico liked him. Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, had a crush on him. Percy walked back to the Poseidon cabin in a daze, completely caught up in his own head, trying to but the pieces of his worldview back together. He didn’t even notice Annabeth’s face appearing before him before she called out to him.

“Hey, seaweed brain! I asked if something had happened?”

Percy was shaken back to his senses. “Annabeth, hi! How’s college?”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Annabeth said, narrowing her eyes. “Something has happened to you. Is it the nightmares again? Are you doing okay?”

“It’s not the nightmares. Not this time,” Percy said tiredly. “I’m just really confused right now.”

“What happened?”

“Nico just told me he liked me,” Percy said, not realizing that Nico might not have wanted anyone else to know before the words had already left his mouth. Annabeth’s eyes widened in surprise. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, clearly at loss for words. Somehow that made him feel a little better. If she was surprised then maybe he wasn’t the world's biggest douchebag for not noticing.

“That makes a lot of sense,” Annabeth finally said. “How did you respond?”

“I said I was sorry I didn’t see him that way, and thanked him for telling me,” Percy said, hesitating before Annabeth nodded in approval.

“Good. I'm glad you didn't freak out, but I hope you didn’t look as confused in front of him as you do now,” she said. “How did he take it?”

“It wasn’t really your standard confession,” Percy said. “I mean, he was already in pretty bad shape when he told me. He didn’t even seem hurt that I rejected him, but he must have been, right? That’s part of what’s bothering me.”

“Percy, I’d understand if you said you didn’t want to hurt him, but you’re saying you’re bothered he _didn’t_ get hurt?” Annabeth frowned.

Percy shook his head. “It’s not that. I just hated having to turn him down. I mean, I don’t see him that way, but I still hated it,” Percy said. “But he just nodded when I did, like he never expected me to even consider it. It bothers me.”

“You never did consider him,” Annabeth pointed out, smiling sympathetically. “But I understand what you mean. Will you be able to be friends, now that it’s out in the open?”

“I don’t know. It’s up to him,” Percy said. “I hope so. I like having him around. Did you know he can sing?”

“No, I didn’t,” Annabeth smiled amusedly, then suddenly frowned, studying Percy intently.

“What?” Percy asked, but Annabeth just shook her head.

“Nothing. Listen, I think you should try to spend more time with him,” she said. “And you might have to convince him of it, but I really think you should. Don’t let him slip back to the Underworld.”

“I’ll try not to, but he might already have gone,” Percy said gloomily. “Thanks, Annabeth. Talking about it helped. Though he probably wouldn’t appreciate me telling you, so if you could stay quiet about it?”

“I’m not stupid, seaweed brain. Of course I won’t tell anyone,” Annabeth said, rolling her eyes. “Goodnight, Percy. And god luck with Nico.”

“I’m going to need it,” Percy smiled. “Goodnight.”

The image of Annabeth dissolved, leaving Percy alone in the eerily quiet cabin. It was late, and he should be getting to sleep. He should have been exhausted really, after everything that had happened today, but instead he felt full of energy. Even if he managed to fall asleep right now, it was a pretty certain one-way ticket to Tartarus. He needed to exhaust himself, and calm down.

Masturbation had never felt so inappropriate. It finally occurred to Percy that the reason Nico had been so jumpy and uncomfortable after walking in on him before wasn’t because he was shocked or disgusted. In all likelihood he had been aroused. Percy should have been uncomfortable with that realization, but he wasn’t. He almost felt intrigued.

Percy shook his head to clear it. So masturbation was out of the question. Instead Percy went back out the door, going for a run. The harpies chased him for a little while, before realizing who he was and then leaving him be. Percy ran as fast as he could away from the cabins and down to the beach, running along the shoreline, trying to burn through the energy he had left. All of the sudden the supply seemed endless. He kept running until he saw a strange round shape on the beach, and stopped dead when he realized it was a person.

“Nico,” Percy greeted, trying to catch his breath. 

Nico didn’t look up at him, but acknowledged him by asking: “Couldn’t sleep?” 

“Nah, too much energy,” Percy said, hesitating for a second before sitting down beside Nico on the beach. “I’m glad you didn’t leave.”

“I thought about it,” Nico said honestly. “But I promised I’d help you, if I can. I have only made things worse so far, haven’t I?”

“No, I feel like I know you better now,” Percy said. “That helps, if anything. I guess I’m just still a little surprised.”

“But you’re not, I don’t know, disgusted?” Nico asked, sounding very vulnerable. Percy reached out to place a hand on Nico’s shoulder. He wasn’t pushed away this time.

“Look at me,” Percy said, waiting until Nico obeyed until he continued. “Of course I’m not the disgusted. If anything, I’m flattered. There’s nothing for you to feel ashamed of, Nico.”

Nico looked at him for a long moment, his face unreadable, then slowly, he nodded and looked back at the dark water in front of them. “I know. On some level I know that,” he said quietly. “But after Tartarus, it’s even harder than it was before.”

“I understand,” Percy said, gently squeezing Nico’s shoulder. “Even the smallest things are harder now, aren’t they? And the big stuff just seems impossible.”

“Yeah,” Nico agreed. “Do you really think we can help each other with this?”

“I’m willing to try if you are,” Percy smiled. “I mean, I know what you said before, about us not being able to be friends, but...”

Nico blushed. “I never should have said that,” he muttered. “I do want to be friends. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Hard things becoming impossible?” Percy suggested, and Nico nodded.

“Things were easier before Tartarus. I had already come to terms with the fact that we would never be more than friends, if even that much after what I did,” Nico said. “Tartarus shattered that.”

“What you did? You mean selling me out to Hades? Or not telling me who I was at Camp Jupiter?” Percy asked, and Nico winced. 

“There’s that,” he said gloomily. “I’ve already explained why I did as I did. I’ve nothing to add to it.”

“For your mother, and for the gods’ plan,” Percy said, then sighed. “I guess holding a grudge should be my fatal flaw, not yours. I didn’t want to understand your reasons then, and I still hold that both were dick moves, but everything turned out for the better because of it. Hades might never have joined the fight against Kronos, and I would have gone back to Camp Half-Blood and left the quest to someone else, never really befriending Hazel or Frank or anyone.”

“That was my reasoning then,” Nico nodded. “Well, I didn’t realize my father would turn on you. That’s on me. It was just pure luck that he joined.”

“Pure luck and your awesome powers of persuasion,” Percy grinned, then turned serious. “There’s one thing I don’t really understand, though. After what happened to Bianca, why did you trust me with Hazel?”

Nico was quiet for a while. “Bianca was never your fault, even if I wanted it to be,” Nico said. “And this is going to sound horrible, but the reason I brought Hazel back was to give her a chance to reach Elysium. That doesn’t mean I wanted her to die again, I really didn’t, but I thought it was inevitable after Thanatos got free.”

“So you’re saying you thought I’d get her killed in a heroic fashion?” Percy asked.

“No, I knew that around you she’d have the chance to do something heroic before Thanatos came to take her back,” Nico said. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but quests and important matters gather around you like flies.”

“I don’t gather flies, though,” Percy smiled, and Nico rolled his eyes. Silence fell, but it didn’t seem so heavy anymore.

“Want to go for a midnight swim?” Percy asked out of the blue. Nico gave him a horrified look.

“A world of no,” Nico said. “And it’s way past midnight already. The sun is coming up in an hour or two. Besides, what happened to being afraid of drowning?”

Percy shrugged. “Only if I’m completely submerged. The waters are shallow here.” He sighed as he stood up. “I suppose I should go and try to get an hour of sleep or so. I feel calmer now.”

“Me too,” Nico said, getting up as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that Nico was gone, presumably back to the Hades cabin. Percy shook his head. The boy could at least have joined him for the walk back.

 

They spent a lot of time together over the following week, sparring, listening to music, just talking or sitting in silence. Not having to hide his feelings anymore caused a small change in Nico. He was still nervous around Percy sometimes when they were alone, and kept at a few feet’s distance at all times, but he was more comfortable than Percy had seen in years, and actually laughed a couple of times.

The confession has caused a change in Percy as well. He had thought of Nico like _that_ before, but now Percy found himself noticing the way Nico would fidget with his rings when he was nervous, or how his mouth pouted slightly when he was thinking or how his eyes lighted up whenever he smiled. Percy found himself _looking_ , and he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the revelation.

The best and worst part was how familiar he was becoming with Nico. When they sparred, he started to be able to predict how Nico would move, and more often than not it ended up more of a dance than a match. While listening to music, Percy already knew whether Nico would like a song before he put it on. It should have been a safe and comfortable feeling, and it was, but Percy wondered if they weren’t getting too close, too quickly.

At the same time, they were still dealing with their own nightmares. Even if they kept each other calm during the day, they still faced their own demons at night alone. Percy got tired of it quickly enough.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Percy asked Nico late one evening when they were sitting in the Hades cabin, lazily playing Monopoly for no particular reason. Nico froze for a moment, then looked down at the board and proceeded to buy Marven Gardens.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said. “Your turn.”

“I think it would be,” Percy said, throwing the die and groaning when it landed him on one of Nico’s lots. “I mean, we both still have nightmares pretty much every night, right? Wouldn’t it be better to have someone there? To wake you up if nothing else?”

“I’m not sure it would help,” Nico said. “And I have a house there, so the rent is higher.”

“I hate this game,” Percy muttered, handing Nico the fake money. “Would you be willing to try, at least? Worst case scenario we’ll just keep each other up all night.”

“Fine, you can stay,” Nico said. “And you’re the one who wanted to play. Don’t hate the game just because you’re terrible at it.”

“I’m not terrible, just unlucky,” Percy said, and Nico raised his eyebrows, clearly not convinced. “Also my father is not the god of wealth.”

“I doubt my father’s influence can be seen in a game of Monopoly,” Nico said drily, rolling the die. “See? I’m apparently going to jail.” 

“And I’d feel so sorry for you if you didn’t have a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’- card,” Percy muttered, taking his turn. “That’s it. I’m broke. You win.”

Nico gave him a triumphant smile and begun to put the game away. “We should probably try and get some sleep now. Choose whatever bed you want.”

After some consideration, Percy chose the bed that was directly opposite Nico’s. He figured the whole point of this was having someone there, after all, and not being able to see him would kinda defeat the purpose. Percy made a quick visit to his own cabin to fetch his toothbrush and pajama. Nico was already in bed when he came back.

It turned out that the Hades cabin became pitch black when the lights were turned off. Percy couldn’t even see his hand move right in front of his face.

“There is such a thing as _too_ dark, you know,” Percy said. He heard Nico snort on the other side of the room.

“Not to me, there’s not. It calms me down,” he said. “But if you want a nightlight we can leave something on.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Percy said. “I’ll get used to it.”

Lying in the darkness and listening to Nico breathing was actually pretty comfortable. Percy closed his eyes, which made absolutely no difference. In his dreams he returned to Tartarus, as usual, but it wasn’t one of the worst dreams. This was Tartarus as it had appeared at first, before Percy saw the true horror of the place. However, he was alone. Annabeth was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the whole of Tartarus seemed empty.

He was shaken out of the dream by a loud scream. At first he thought some monsters had attacked him, and he fumbled after Riptide in the darkness. Then he remembered where he was, and recognized the voice.

“Nico!” Percy called out, stumbling out of bed and towards the sound. He walked blindly forward, but found Nico easily enough through sound and touch. Percy aimed to touch his shoulder, but his hand ended up on Nico’s face instead. He figured it didn’t matter.

“Nico, wake up! It’s just a dream,” Percy said loudly, caressing Nico’s chin. The screaming ceased suddenly, turning into heavy panting as Nico tried to calm down and catch his breath.

“Percy?” Nico whispered. 

“I’m here. You’re okay,” Percy said, gently running his thumb over Nico’s cheek, realizing it was wet. The boy must have been crying. Percy decided not to mention it. After a moment Nico grabbed his hand to move it away from his face as he sat up in bed. His hands felt pretty cold.

“Thanks for waking me up,” Nico said, sounding embarrassed. “I’ll be fine now, if you want to go back to sleep.”

“Not sure I could find my bed, to be honest,” Percy laughed. “And I didn’t have such a pleasant dream myself. I can stay.”

“Er,” Nico said. “Really, I’ll be fine. I’ll turn on the lights for you.”

The sudden light made Percy feel blinder than the darkness had. Once his eyes got used to it, he could see Nico had dried the tears away, but his eyes were still wet and his cheeks a bit puffy. He looked strangely vulnerable.

“I don’t mind staying if you want me to,” Percy said gently. He was still holding Nico’s hand, and gave it a light squeeze. “Or if you don’t want to sleep anymore, I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to...” Nico said, biting his lip. 

“I’m not. I was the one to suggest this, remember?” Percy frowned. “I need someone as much as you do. Probably more.”

Nico was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “I want to try and go back to sleep,” he said. “Would you really stay?”

“Scootch over,” Percy smiled, leaning over to turn out the lights. They ended up back to back, which the bed was slightly too narrow for, but they managed. Nico was warm against him, and Percy felt pretty comfortable as he drifted back to sleep. He had no dreams for the rest of the night.

 

Percy was alone in the bed when he woke up, but just how Nico had managed to get out without waking him was a mystery. Maybe he had shadow travelled. The lights were on in the cabin, so Percy could actually see what he was doing as he got out of bed. Nico was nowhere to be seen, so Percy got dressed and walked out. He found Nico at breakfast, eating apples. Chiron gave Percy a pointed look, and Percy figured they had broken enough rules for a while, so he ate alone at the Poseidon table as he was supposed to. Unfortunately, that meant Nico managed to slip away somewhere. Percy wondered if the boy was avoiding him.

He returned to the Poseidon cabin after breakfast, since the Hades cabin had been empty. He was looking through his I-pod for songs to listen to when the air flimmered and Annabeth appeared.

“Hey,” Percy smiled, taking off the earbuds. “How’s it going?”

“I’m fine. College is fun,” Annabeth smiled back, then turned serious. “I think we need to talk.”

Percy was a bit surprised, but he nodded. “Did you find someone else?” he asked, and her eyes widened for a moment before she smiled.

“No, I didn’t. But I still think we should break up,” she said. “This isn’t really fair to either of us.”

“I guess you’re right,” Percy sighed.

“You’re not angry?”

“I kinda want to be, but I’m not. I’ve known this was coming for a while,” Percy said tiredly. “I had hoped we’d be able to fix it.”

“I’m sorry,” Annabeth said. “But I think it’s better this way.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Percy said, clearing his throat. “We’re still friends, though. Right?”

She laughed a bit at that. “Of course. That’s not even a question,” she said. “Speaking of, how are things with Nico?”

“Good,” Percy said. “Well, he’s avoiding me right now, but otherwise we’re good.”

“Why is he avoiding you? Did you do something?” Annabeth asked, frowning.

“I think he’s embarrassed. I stayed over at his cabin yesterday and he had a nightmare, so we slept together for a while,” Percy said, then hesitated. “Wait, when I say sleep, I mean sleep. Like back to back. Not, well, you know.”

Annabeth laughed. “You don’t have to explain it to me anymore, you know,” she said. “But it’s good you two are finally getting along. You should go and find him, wherever he’s hiding, and talk to him.”

“I plan to, but he’s not easy to be found,” Percy smiled. “But you’re right. Thanks, Annabeth. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See you around,” she said, and the image disappeared. Percy followed her advice and went out to look for Nico. Strangely enough, the breakup didn’t really bother him. They had been finished for months already, even if neither of them had wanted to say it out loud. Part of him had hoped they’d get together again when she came back, but now that it was really over, most of what he felt was relief.

He found Nico in the arena, begrudgingly giving swordsmanship lessons to the younger campers. Percy joined him with a smile on his face.

“So you’re their new instructor?” he said, causing Nico to roll his eyes.

“Very funny. You know this is actually supposed to be _your_ job, right?” Nico said then returned his attention to the girl from the Hephaestus cabin he was instructing. “It’s a sword, not a hammer. Your grip needs to be more flexible.”

They spent the rest of the day giving lessons to the campers. Percy was aware he’d been neglecting his duties, but after two wars most of them were pretty decent swordsmen even without his help, and could train well enough without him. Somehow Nico still managed to find small details to correct with every single one of them, and the tips he gave when they were going two-on-two where sometimes things Percy hadn’t even heard of.

Nico shrugged when Percy told him so later on, as they were walking back to camp. “I train with dead people, and not all of them are old Greeks and Romans,” he said. “I talked an old Olympic champion of fencing into giving me lessons a few months back, and a Japanese kendo master before that. Variation is good.”

“That explains a lot,” Percy said, nodding. “Your sword isn’t really suited for fencing or kendo, though.”

“I know. I just keep the parts I can use and forget the rest,” Nico said. They reached the dining area and went their separate ways to eat dinner. Percy joined the campfire songs while Nico slipped away somewhere unnoticed. 

Afterwards Percy walked up to the Hades cabin and knocked on the door. Nico was already dressed for bed as he opened the door.

“So I was wondering if I could sleep here again tonight?” Percy said, watching Nico’s eyes widen in surprise. “I mean, I slept better last night than I have in a long time, so...” he trailed off, and Nico wordlessly stepped aside to let him in.

 

As it turned out, simply sleeping in the same cabin as someone else was no guarantee of good dreams. Percy should have known that already, but he was grasping at straws as it was. The dream had started out much as it had before, with him alone in Tartarus but it very quickly turned into him alone _with_ Tartarus, and this time it was his turn to wake up screaming.

“Percy, wake up. It’s alright,” Nico’s voice said. Percy opened his eyes to see the boy leaning over him with a hand on his shoulder, looking worried. Apparently he had turned on the light somewhere above him, because his hair was illuminated like a halo. For a moment Percy thought he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, then he stopped thinking altogether, pulling Nico down into a kiss.

Nico froze completely above him, not moving even when Percy pressed his lips against him. A second later he pulled away violently.

“What...Why did you…?” Nico stammered, looking frightened. For a moment Percy wondered if he had made a mistake, but it hadn’t felt like one. Kissing Nico seemed right, somehow.

“I wanted to,” Percy said. “I won’t do it again if you don’t want me to, though.”

“But...” Nico begun, clearly confused. “But what about Annabeth?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Percy said, a little surprised. “We broke up earlier today. Officially, I mean. It’s been over for a while.”

“ _What?_ ” Nico asked in a high pitched shriek, then quickly covered his mouth, apparently embarrassed by the sound. Percy laughed, gesturing for him to come closer. Nico obeyed, though he moved like he was preparing to run away at any second.

“I thought you said you didn’t see me this way,” Nico said quietly. Percy nodded.

“I didn’t, but that was a while ago. Things change,” he said. “Come here.”

Nico sat down on the bed beside him, looking awkward and uncomfortable. Percy smiled reassuringly at him as he moved closer, pulling him into his arms. “It didn’t fully occur to me until just now,” Percy said. “But I really find you attractive, and I like being around you. Can I kiss you again?”

Nico hesitated, then gave a shy nod. Percy grinned as he closed the distance between them again. Nico wasn’t as unresponsive this time, but he seemed nervous and clearly didn’t know what he was doing. Percy didn’t mind. Even if the kiss was a little awkward he found comfort in it.

“Stay with me?” Percy asked when they parted, and Nico blushed deeply, but nodded. They lay down in Percy’s bed, and Percy pulled Nico close, until his head rested on Percy’s upper arm. His arm was probably going to fall asleep during the night, but he didn’t particularly care. Nico was warm against him, even if he still seemed a little tense. 

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you,” Percy smiled, leaning in to steal another brief kiss.

“Sorry, it’s just...This isn’t a joke, is it?” Nico asked, his voice shaking slightly. Percy frowned at him.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said sternly. “Like I said, if you don’t want this...”

“I do,” Nico said hastily, with an undertone of panic. “I really do.”

“Then stop asking stupid questions and go to sleep,” Percy smiled, reaching out to turn out the lights before bringing the boy just a little bit closer still. Percy felt good like that, warm and safe, like Tartarus couldn’t reach him. He buried his face in Nico’s hair, breathing him in. It was a soothing scent, familiar and unknown at the same time. Like the boy himself had been for so long. Percy closed his eyes, unafraid of whatever his dreams might bring.

Sleeping with Nico in his arms became routine after that. At first it was pretty innocent, just sleeping and a few kisses, but they were both young men and chaste touches wasn’t satisfying for long. Percy wasn’t really sure how to approach the subject, though. Not until one night when they were sitting in the Poseidon cabin listening to music from the loudspeakers, since Percy’s earbuds had gone to an early grave when he accidentally stepped on them.

They hadn’t been in here together since that first night, when Nico unknowingly walked in on Percy masturbating. A lot had happened since then, especially between the two of them, but Nico was clearly still embarrassed by it. He avoided looking at Percy’s bed at all, and when “She Shook Me All Night Long” came up on the playlist, Nico blushed a deep red. Percy studied him for a moment, realizing that the boy was sitting cross-legged to hide his arousal. The thought went straight to Percy’s groin, and he walked over to kiss him. Nico made a surprised sound, but kissed back eagerly.

“Come on,” Percy said as they parted, taking his hands and gently pulling him towards the bed. 

“Percy,” Nico said uncertainly, hesitating as Percy sat down on the bed and tried to get Nico to join him.

“It’s okay,” Percy said, admittedly a bit disappointed. “We don’t have to. I thought you might want to, is all.”

“I do,” Nico said, growing redder as he sat down beside Percy. “But I haven’t ever...I’m not sure how to make it any good for you.”

Percy laughed, gently caressing Nico’s cheek. “It’s alright. Just let me lead. We don’t have to do anything complicated,” he said. “And if you want me to stop, you tell me.” 

Nico’s dark eyes were wide as Percy pushed their mouths together again, greedily deepening the kiss. At the same time, his hands started wandering to the hem of Nico’s shirt, then underneath it. Nico gasped as Percy’s hands ran over his naked skin, exploring the unfamiliar territory through his fingertips. He could feel Nico’s hands doing the same to him, albeit on top of his T-shirt. Percy decided to remedy that immediately. Nico gave a muffled protest as Percy pulled back, but turned silent immediately when he proceeded to remove his shirt. Nico did seem shy about removing his own shirt, though.

“Come on,” Percy urged. “You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me.”

“I’m really skinny,” Nico said, folding his arms across his chest. “You might find it off-putting. Maybe I should just keep it on.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Percy said, gently tugging at the shirt. “I want see you. There’s no way you could put me off. Come on, please.”

Nico reluctantly unfolded his arms, and Percy carefully pulled the shirt over his head. He took a moment to look the boy over, and found he liked what he saw. Yes, Nico was skinny, but his toned muscles showed how strong he really was. Percy leaned down to place a kiss on Nico’s collarbone, smiling in triumph as he heard his breath hitch. He mercilessly moved on to another spot on his neck, kissing and sucking as he saw fit. Judging by the low moans Nico was making the area was pretty sensitive.

“Percy,” Nico moaned, with one hand in Percy’s hair and another moving down his lower stomach. “Don’t you want to...Ah!” Percy gently bit his shoulder, smiling as he looked back up at Nico. Dark eyes were staring hungrily at him, and Percy swallowed, suddenly a bit nervous.

“You’re so impatient,” he scolded, trying to keep his voice light. 

“I’ve been waiting for _years_ ,” Nico said darkly, moving to capture Percy’s lips again. He was right, Percy supposed as he kissed back sloppily. Maybe there was no need to drag this out. They had all the time in the world to explore each other later. Percy took one of Nico’s hands and brought it to his own groin, gasping a little at the faint touch above his increasingly tight pants. He left Nico’s hand there, and moved to the hem of Nico’s pants, opening the button above the zipper.

“Just follow my lead,” Percy said, pulling back long enough to form the words, before returning to the kiss. He could feel Nico starting to open his pants, and Percy did the same for him, carefully dragging the zipper down and reaching inside his underwear. Nico’s moan when Percy’s hand closed around him was something Percy had never heard before, and if it was the only sound he ever heard for the rest of his life he would die happily. Then Nico grabbed a hold of him too, and Percy honestly had to think about awful things for a moment not to come too soon. They started caressing each other, finding a mutual rhythm. Nico pulled back from the kiss to gasp and moan at every touch, an Percy kept his eyes open to drink in the sight of him, flustered and with an expression of ecstasy on his face. Percy wished he’d had a camera. He had never understood why people filmed themselves having sex, but suddenly he had a feeling he knew the reason. That expression should be immortalized in some way. Percy increased his pace, and neither one of them lasted long after that. Nico screamed his name as he came, and Percy followed immediately afterwards, biting into Nico’s shoulder.

"I love you," Nico whispered, trying to catch his breath.

Percy breathed heavily as he wrapped his arms around Nico and dragged him down onto the bed with him. Neither of them said anything for a long time.

“Was that okay?” Nico finally asked, sounding uncertain and still a little out of breath. Percy laughed as he pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“That was awesome,” he said. “I feel great. Let’s go to sleep.”

It took a bit of coordinating to get both of them underneath the blanket they’d been lying on without letting go of each other, but once that was done Percy quickly relaxed against Nico and drifted off to a wonderful, dreamless sleep.

They had sex pretty much every night after that, quickly moving on to doing more than just jerking each other off. The first time Nico gave Percy a blowjob was a pretty awkward, but it felt better than Percy thought it would. In all honestly the first time he did the same to Nico was probably worse, but Nico didn’t complain. Getting lubrication for actually entering Nico had been a different sort of hell, but once they were in bed and moving together in a whole new way, it was more than worth it. 

No matter how they did it, Percy slept like a baby afterwards, curled up around Nico. He usually woke up alone, but Nico had always woken up before him, so he didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until Jason visited from Camp Jupiter Percy realized something was wrong.

They had spent the day together, all three of them, sparring and just hanging around. Nico disappeared sometime after dinner, but that was a usual occurrence. Percy was sure he’d come by the Poseidon cabin later, as he always did.

Nico never turned up.

As Percy grew impatient of waiting, he went to knock on the door to the Hades cabin, but there was no response, and opening the door he saw that the cabin was empty. Percy walked back to his own cabin, confused and hurt that Nico would just disappear like that. For a second he looked over at the Zeus cabin, where Jason slept when he was visiting, but then he shook his head. There was no way. Nico loved him, he said so almost every night after sex, so there was no way. Right?

Percy lay awake for a few hours, waiting in vain for Nico to come back, before falling into the worst dream he’d had since Annabeth went to college. He woke himself up screaming, and spent several minutes just hugging himself and rocking back and forth, trying to get a hold on reality.

He got up and took a shower, then spent the rest of the night at his desk, listening to music on a low volume while doodling ugly drawings in a notebook. Around the time the sun went up there was a knock on his door, and Percy almost flew to open it, hoping it was Nico.

It wasn’t. Instead Jason stood outside, glaring at Percy with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Good, you’re up,” Jason said. “Can I come in?”

Percy stepped aside, allowing Jason to enter, wondering what it was about. He didn’t expect Jason to punch him in the face.

Percy fell backwards to the floor, completely unprepared. “What the hell was that for?” he shouted, holding is aching cheek. Jason was watching him, looking absolutely furious. Percy thought he could hear thunder somewhere in the distance.

“That was for Nico,” Jason said through gritted teeth. “How could you do this to him?”

“Do what?” Percy asked, confused.

“You knew he was in love with you, and you still slept with him. Repeatedly,” Jason said angrily. “Do you have any idea how wrong that is? Nico cried for hours in my arms last night. He doesn’t know what to do.”

“But Nico never said anything was wrong,” Percy said, horrified. “I didn’t realize...”

“Realize what? That you’re _using_ him?” Jason spat. 

“I’m not!” Percy exclaimed. “It’s not like that! I swear it’s not like that!”

“Then what’s it like?” Jason asked, and Percy honestly wasn’t sure. He hadn’t taken the time to really reflect on what Nico was to him. Jason nodded slowly.

“Think about it,” he said sternly. “And then explain the whole thing to Nico, because he has _no idea_ where he stands with you, and it scares him. “

“He never said anything to me,” Percy said. 

“He told you he loved you. And you never answered,” Jason said with a voice like ice. “Talk to him. And if you hurt him like this again, I’ll kill you.”

Percy blinked, realizing that Jason wasn’t just saying it, he meant it. “Wait, are you in love with Nico?”

“No, but we’re friends,” Jason said. “I don’t like seeing my friends hurt. I thought you were the same, but perhaps I was wrong.”

He left after that, and Percy stared at the closed door for a long while. Jason was right. Percy was a selfish idiot, and should have realized this on his own. Knowing Nico loved him, and still not explaining his intentions before starting this kind of relationship with him… It was a really despicable thing to do, and Percy hadn’t even stopped to consider it. No, he had been too busy marveling over the fact that it helped him _sleep_ , and he had stupidly assumed the benefits were mutual. He should have known better. This was exactly how he had lost Annabeth.

The problem was, he wasn’t sure how he really felt about Nico. He hadn’t thought much about it, except for last night when Nico unexpectedly stood him up. Percy had been hurt and possibly jealous, and the thought that Nico had spent the night in Jason’s arms _definitely_ made him jealous now, even if it had been to cry. He also knew he was not ready to end whatever it was they had, but he supposed that was up to Nico.

Percy spent the morning in his cabin, trying to figure out what he was feeling. He knew he felt _something_ , something more than friendship, but was it love? Percy wasn’t sure. It didn’t feel the same way as it had with Annabeth, long ago. But on the other hand, he was attracted to Nico, both physically and emotionally. He didn’t know if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the boy, but he didn’t want to be without him, either.

There was another knock on his door some hours later, and Nico entered before Percy had a chance to go open the door. Percy looked up at him, and Nico winced.

“I take it Jason came to talk to you?” Nico said, pointing at his left eye. Percy supposed it had bruised, but he hadn’t checked. “I’m sorry. I told him not to do anything.”

Percy nodded. “It was probably a good thing he did. I hadn’t realized what I was doing to you.”

Nico looked down on the floor. “So, it's over?” he asked quietly. Percy studied him, his slumped shoulders, the dark hair hanging in his face, hiding his eyes.

“Not unless you want it to be,” Percy said, and Nico’s head snapped up, looking surprised. Percy held up a hand. “Hear me out first. Jason was right, we need to talk about this.”

“You already know how I feel,” Nico said, sitting down beside him. “And I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I just couldn’t. I never expected anything to happen between us, but then it did, and I couldn’t just… I just…”

“I get it. You thought it would end if you confronted me about it,” Percy nodded. “But the truth is, I’m not sure how I feel, and I should have told you that from the beginning. I mean, I like you. I really do, and I like spending time with you and having sex with you, but I’m not sure it goes deeper than that. It might just be a question of time, but I’m not sure.”

“Really?” Nico asked, wide eyed. “I thought it was mostly about the dreams not being so bad after, after doing that.”

“It’s part of it,” Percy said. “But I wouldn’t have started this if that was the only reason. I feel horrible about this, though, because I understand why you thought that. I never even asked if it helped you too, or if it was just me.”

“It helped,” Nico said, smiling slightly. “I don’t want this to end.”

“I don’t want that either,” Percy said, smiling back as he took one of Nico’s hands in his. “Would you be willing to start over? And do things properly this time? No more hiding our feelings from each other?”

“I’d like that,” Nico said. “As long as we can still sleep close together. I’m not ready to lose that.”

“Agreed,” Percy said. “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

“I’d mind more if you didn’t,” Nico said, and Percy smiled widely as he brought their lips together. It felt different now, somehow. More real.

Maybe they would be able to make it. Maybe they’d even be able to leave Tartarus behind for good one day. Until then, they had each other, and that was enough. 

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Go read the other fics of [the Percico Challenge](http://percico.tumblr.com/), they're awsome. Thanks!


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